Ameena ajak sembang

At 1 month and 3 weeks, ameena already starts cooing, smiling & laughing in respond to people talking to her. MasyaAllah baby! :)

Ameena's first month

Saat Ameena Farasyah lahir ke dunia

31st March 2015; 35 weeks & 4 days of pregnancy

Ok..kerusi mana kerusi..I cannot tahan already~~

Pagi tu tengah grand round, dengan HOD, specialists, MOs..dari hujung cubicle wad sampai ke depan, masa tu tak sempat duduk pun lagi. Selalunya masa tengah round bila penat je, memang cepat-cepat akan cari kerusi. Tapi haritu bila dah sampai last cubicle baru terasa betul-betul tak larat.

Mata melilau pada setiap katil, kalau-kalau ada kerusi kosong yang tak diduduki mana-mana penjaga pesakit. Selalunya mesti ada 1-2 yang kosong.

Tapi haritu, semua kerusi penuh.

Masa tu dah pegang rail katil pesakit paling depan. Sambil berkira-kira kalau pegi nurses station untuk duduk sekejap, boss marah tak?

Belum sempat nak menapak, kepala masa tu dah start rasa ringan. Ok takleh jadi, duduk je la kat lantai jap. Karang pengsan ke apa lagi susah...

Aku duduk melutut ke bawah antara 2 katil pesakit, cuba ambik nafas perlahan-lahan sambil berharap boss tak nampak la apa aku tengah buat.

'Ëh Kameelah,' salah seorang colleague tiba-tiba tegur. 'Ýou nampak pucat. Go and rest in houseman's room lah'

'Oh..tapi takpe ke? round tak habis lagi..'

'Nevermind..your patients dah seen by kan? Ni dah nak habis dah. Go go..' Colleague tu insist.

Dalam bilik houseman, terus aku capai air mineral dan rehat dekat kerusi rotan. Hmm biasa sangat dah macamni. Hypotension. Sejak kat medical school lagi. Tapi bila pregnant, memang lagi kerap la jadi.

Tiba-tiba rasa perut mengeras. Oh, Braxton-Hicks la ni. Akhir-akhir ni memang agak kerap dapat contraction macam ni.

Bila dah rasa boleh berdiri semula, aku terus keluar bilik untuk carry out plan patients yang aku jaga. Pagi tu kena review 5 patients. Ada sorang nak kena discharge, sorang nak kena buat wound debridement...dan lagi 3 tak ada issue. Round masa tu dah pun habis. File patient yang nak kena discharge tu aku bawak masuk ke bilik houseman untuk setelkan discharge summary. Boleh buat kerja sambil kunyah breakfast.. Hehe

Baru nak tulis summary, contraction kadang terasa lagi. Tapi aku tak pay attention sangat sebab tak sakit pun.

Tiba-tiba Kalai, another colleague masuk bilik tu.'Darling..you ok tak ni?' dia yang memang selalu concern terus tanya.

'Ok2. Penat sikit je tadi..' aku senyum kat dia. 'Ni dah makan roti dah. Feel better!' 

'You sure not? Nampak pucat lagi ni. Harini MC je lah!'

'Aa taknak..I ok je, jangan risau'. Lepas je cakap camtu, another contraction datang. Spontan tangan pegang perut.

'Kenapa? Contraction?'

Angguk. "Ha'ah, tapi tak ada apa lah. Selalu je camni. Braxton Hicks je kot'

Dia masih tak puas hati. 'You ada time tak?'

'Err..tak la pulak'

'You time sekarang. Entah-entah dah nak preterm labour ke apa kau ni. Dah bagitau Amin tak?' 

'Haha..tak..serius I rasa ok je ni. Ye lah2 I time' bila perut mengeras lagi, aku tunggu selama 10 minit untuk kira tempoh dan kekerapan contraction tu. '1 in 10, lasts for about 20 seconds' aku report. 'Takde apa..' aku cuba convincekan lagi.

'20 seconds? Quite worrying la tu. Aku rasa kau better pegi labour room la assess. Karang tak pasal-pasal BBA (born before arrival) kat wad ni kang..'

'Ish, tak payah la..' masa tu serius rasa tak ada apa-apa. Dalam kepala just nak siapkan kerja je. 

'Oh my god this girl..' 

'Betul, jangan risau' aku bagitau dengan yakinnya. Tak lama lepastu aku keluar ke depan untuk amik carbon paper yang tertinggal. Kat nurses station tu Kalai tengah berbicang sesuatu dengan Dr Husainy.

'Maryam, kenapa tak balik rehat je?' Dr Husainy pulak tegur.

'Ala, saya ok je inshaAllah. No worries.' Mesti Kalai yang bagitau tadi. Tapi baru je nak duduk kat situ sambung kerja, ada kelibat yang tak disangka datang ke wad berjalan ke arah kami.

Hasbeng.

'Haa..dah sampai dah hero kita' diorang kat kaunter bersorak.

'Err apa you buat kat sini?' aku blur lagi terpinga-pinga.

'Diorang cakap you contraction. You ok tak?'

Rasa terharu campur bersalah. Rupanya diorang siap call hasbeng untuk datang amik aku. 'I ok je...' 

'Baik assess je kameelah. Karang jadi apa-apa susah nanti' 

'Yea don't worry. Come how many patients you've got? We'll take one each. You just take MC for today'

Makin bersalah. Tapi masa tu rasa dah tak boleh nak argue panjang-panjang.

'Ok I go to labour room for awhile. If there's nothing I'll come back and continue my work k..' 

2x5 ketegaq...

***

3rd May 2015; 40 weeks & 2 days of pregnancy

So..it has been about a month plus since the incident happened. Yang bila pergi assess kat labour room Hospital Muar, I was diagnosed with threatened preterm labour. Lepas bincang dengan ummi merangkap my obstetrician, we decided to go back to KL there and then untuk further management. Admitted satu hari dekat Ampang Puteri, masa tu found out ada irritable uterus secondary to (asymptomatic) urinary tract infection. I was adviced then to continue resting at home, which means taking early maternity leave.

EDD was the 1st of May. But 1st of May come and go. Macam-macam dah buat jugak untuk stimulate labour; main gym ball, pusing taman, pusing mall, pergi kenduri kendara...siap boleh ikut hasbeng pergi dia punya high school reunion kat Kuala Kangsar masa 39weeks tu. Still, our baby butterfly seems like she wanted to stay longer inside. Kate Middleton pun dah beranak dulu (tetibe). There were several occassions of false alarm that was mistaken as labour, tapi bila assess OS masih 1 cm dan tak ada further progress.

So we continued waiting...

Until the night of the 3rd of May...

Contraction malam tu rasa kerap dan lebih kuat dari biasa. Bila time, it was about 2-3 in 10, lasting for 20-30s each. Bila bagitau ummi, ummi suruh prepare untuk admitted esok lepas Subuh...

4th May 2015; 40 weeks & 3 days of pregnancy

Pagi tu solat subuh berjemaah. Lepastu solat hajat, tunggu dhuha & solat. Lepastu baca Surah Maryam dulu sementara tunggu ummi bersiap. Sarapan minum air zam zam dan makan kurma. Macam tak lalu nak sentuh benda lain.

Sampai Ampang Puteri pukul 9am, terus masuk labour room. Bila assess, OS masa tu dah 4-5cm. Ummi decided to start me on pitocin to augment the labour, while she went for 2 LSCS and 1 cystectomy cases that were awaiting her in the OT. Sepanjang menunggu, contraction makin kerap dan kuat, tapi alhamdulillah masih tolerable. Aku decide untuk tak amik epidural lepas dah bagi a long thought pasal ni sebelum ni. Pernah baca yang baby can be less alert when born bila mum amik epidural. Dan bila tak dapat rasa contraction, pushing can also be less effective. Wallahu a'lam. Of course la semua benda ada pros dan cons dia. Tapi risau la jugak. Aku ni sebenarnya sangat penakut kot especially bila melibatkan benda yang menyakitkan. Nama je doktor, tapi kalau nak kena cucuk ke apa, mau bersilat dulu dengan nurse atau doktor yang nak cucuk tu. Huhu...

Tapi somehow, sebab ni lain. Sakit bersalin. Bukankah pahala ibu yang merasai sakit bersalin ni sama dengan pahala berjihad di jalan Allah?

Hasben bacakan lagi Surah Maryam while aku zikir dan cuba ingat semua pesanan-pesanan orang sebelum bersalin.

Baca: Laa ilaaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zolimin banyak kali. Ni zikir Nabi Yunus as. masa baginda berada dalam perut ikan Nun.

Lagi pesanan, adalah untuk sentiasa berfikiran positif. Jangan fikirkan pasal sakit, jangan fikir benda bukan-bukan yang boleh terjadi masa beranak. I did read the Hypnobirthing book: The Mongan method yang essentially cakap pasal gentle birthing. Buku tu baru dibeli beberapa hari sebelum EDD, tapi apa yang aku sempat baca agak membantu untuk control myself during labour. Point yang aku ingat, bila terasa sakit, cuba bayangkan happy thoughts. Sebab happy or positive thought ni akan merembeskan hormon endorphin (happy hormone) dalam badan kita, which also work as a natural painkiller. In contrast, bila kita fikir scary or negative thoughts, adrenaline/noradrenaline will be released, which will just amplify the pain.

So selain terus berzikir, apa yang aku bayangkan setiap kali rasa sakit datang, is baby dah keluar and aku peluk dia. Setiap kali fikir macam tu, rasa sangat happy, tenang dan rasa sakit beransur-ansur hilang. Siap boleh terfikir masa tu; oh bolehlah tahan lagi sakit nak bersalin ni eh. Kenapa selama ni ingatkan macam sakit gila tu?

Well....the answer was simply because.. the real pain hasn't started yet...

By zuhur, aku tiba-tiba terasa lapar dan teringin sangat nak makan chocolate pastry yang ada jual kat cafe hospital tu. Tapi sebab by that time aku dah 6-7cm, hasben cakap patutnya dah tak boleh makan sebab dah near labour. Patients should be kept nil by mouth around 6 hours before labour because in case she would need to undergo emergency operation, this will increase the risk of aspiration. And then ummi masuk labour room tu, having finished all her cases. Bila tengok muka aku cam kesian, dia pun bagi je aku makan. Haha. Big boss dah kata ok, apo nak dikato?

Lepas makan, aku solat zuhur dulu dalam keadaan berbaring. Masa solat tu memang dah terasa contraction makin kuat, lama dan kerap. Lepas solat, assess lagi sekali dan masa tu OS dah 8cm. Pandangan dah mula kabur sebab menahan sakit yang amat. Kalau sebelum ni aku tolak offer untuk sedut gas Enthonox, masa tu memang tak tolak dah sebab tak tertahan dengan contraction yang kuat tu. Serius tak pernah rasa macam ni. So inilah sakit bersalin...Suami kat sebelah tak putus-putus bacakan zikir dengan tenang. Laa ilaaha illa anta, subhanaka inni kuntu minaz zolimin. Tapi kalau masa awal-awal tadi aku boleh ikut dia zikir, kali ni dengan kepala dah dalam keadaan separuh sedar, hanya mampu dengar je. Terbayang orang kata, masa sakaratul maut, perkara yang kita mampu buat cuma mendengar. Macam ni ke sakit sakaratul maut? Enthonox disedut lagi, dan aku tak tolak injection Pethidine pulak. Consciousness dah tenggelam rimbul. Masa tu doa sangat dalam hati ya Allah cepatkanlah, let this end soon. Tak tertahan sangat dah sakitnya....

At last..another VE and I heard ummi said, 'Ok, OS dah fully. Prepare!' I was put on the lithotomy position, and ummi instructed, 'Ok adik, bismillahirrahmanirrahim. Take a deep breath, chin to chest, and push!'

This is it. Walaupun sungguh sangat lalok, suara ummi yang semangat buat aku jadi sedar terus. Dan berazam untuk buat betul-betul. Aku ingat satu pesanan yang cakap, kadang-kadang ibu meneran hanya pada muka, tapi bukan kat bawah. So penting untuk fokus teran kat bawah. Dan jangan menjerit, sebab tenaga akan sia-sia hilang pada menjerit sedangkan nak meneran perlukan lebih tenaga. 

With one deep breath, I pushed continuosly down below with all the energy that I can muster. Terasa ummi cucuk locals followed by episiotomy, tapi tak terasa sakit dah sebab the urge to push overwhelmed everything. Masa tu dengar sister and ummi bersorak, 'good good, sikit lagi..amik nafas sekali lagi, pushhhh..' Masa tu dah terasa macam kepala baby dah keluar. This motivated me, tambah dengan suara hasben dah start laungkan azan. I took another quick deep breath and gave a final strong push, and alhamdulillah...at last, our baby butterfly was safely born at 3.47pm...

Subhanallah, Alhamdulillah, Allahuakbar...

Seriously... 3.96kg, baby?

Alhamdulillah ummi taktau tu berat awak sebelum lahirkan awak ^__^"

______________

Ok for Ameena's record, this is the list of awesome people that has been there througout ummi's experience of mengandungkan and melahirkan Ameena:

1) My dearest beloved husband, Muhammad Aminuddin Ashari, who has always been there through thick and thin. I thank Allah for each and every second that He lent him to me, throughout my crazy days and nights of morning sickness, sudden waking up in the middle of the night because of leg cramps, all those random cravings, all the aches and pains that he endure with me, for being that hero hindustan buat grand entrance masuk wad 3 and tarik me pegi labour room, all those zikir, words of encouragement and doa throughout my labour...and so many other zillion good things he do for me and Ameena. May Allah always grant your abi eternal happiness in this world and the hereafter <3 :)

2) My ummi aka my obstetrician, Dr Marsita Mansor. I thank Allah for giving me the best obs I've ever known, who have taken care of me so well antenatally, during labour and post partum. I will always remember that one time where she waited for one long hour just to see your face from that 4D scan because you just refused to move your hands that covered your face. And..her excellent skills with stitches. May Allah bless her :)

3) My abah who was in the labour room as well, reciting prayers non-stop!

4) Mak, Tok, Tok Chu, Kak Umi, /mak Teh Urut, Kakak, Auntie Dyla, Ti Ya & Auntie Dils for taking care of me so well during my confinement and be such awesome babysitters

5) A nurse called Kina in Ampang Puteri for encouraging, motivating and teaching me about breastfeeding. Thank you for uplifting my spirit to do this thing right.

6) My colleagues and bosses in ortho dept for always being so kind & supportive.

7) The rest of the lovely family members and friends, for their continuous doa, support and love. We are indeed so blessed!

Alhamdulillah 'ala kulli hal... :)

A bun in the oven!

Alhamdulillah, I still remember the day when my husband texted me from work, 'Sayaaang..I have a surprise for you!' I read that message with mixed feelings of anticipation and apprehension. Could it be...? Earlier that day my urine sample was taken for some tests as I was having few-days symptoms of urinary tract infection (UTI); dysuria (pain on passing water), urgency and frequency. Later when he returned home from work and handed me that piece of paper, only then I found out what the surprise was all about:

Subhanallah...

It turned out that along with the urine culture & sensitivity test (C&S), husband also sent the urine sample for urine pregnancy test (UPT) - which turned out to be positive! :')

سَجَدَ وَجْهِي لِلَّذِي خَلَقَهُ، وَشَقَّ سَمْعَهُ وَبَصَرَهُ بِحَوْلِهِ وَقُوَّتِهِ، فَتَبَارَكَ اللَّهُ أَحْسَنُ الْخَالِقِينَ

“I have prostrated my face to the One Who created it, and brought forth its hearing and seeing by His Might and Power, blessed be Allah the Best of Creators.”

Alhamdulillah, this happy news was discovered at about 4 weeks after our solemnisation, a precious rizq (provision) by Allah that were given early and mostly welcomed in our marriage. Allah is indeed the Best of Planner. Before getting married, we both thought that we might have wanted to wait for at least a year before going to having a child. This was owing to the fact that I was only about to start with busy working life, which might need sometimes to get used to. But again, Allah is the Best of Planner. Soon as we got married, the natural feeling of wanting to have a child overwhelmed, and all other worries just disappeared. And inshaAllah, with Him always by our sides, we believe that He will not burden us with anything greater than we can bear :)

The first ultrasound scan with 'Tok Ummi' at 5 weeks ;)

We broke the news to siblings and cousins after the first ultrasound session back in KL. Alhamdulillah it was received with much joy and excitement by everyone as this baby is going to be the first grandchild, and the first member of the next generation on both of our sides. Mak couldn't hide her excitement when she told us about her research about the nicknames for grandmothers - one including 'Jeddah' ;) But eventually she might just settled with 'Tok' - and 'Tok Haji' for Abah, 'Tok Ayah' for my Abah, and 'Tok Ummi' for Ummi. To add to the amusement, hubby's third and fourth sisters had been fighting over the title 'Makteh' ever since. I'm not entirely sure why, but hubby said their current Makteh now is a rich and glamorous person, so they were kind of inspired by that name. Haha. As for us, we will go with 'Ummi' & 'Abi' for our future children to call us, inshaAllah.

Other than the title frenzy, everyone are also very much hoping for the baby to be a boy. The reason being that hubby and me has only one brother in our siblings (out of 5 and 4 respectively), and the majority that makes up hubby's close-knitted cousins are girls. Therefore a new member of the XY clan would be exciting. But it doesn't matter for us the parent whether the baby is a girl or a boy, as long as he/she is always well, healthy, and soleh, inshaAllah :)

Starting with Bismillah...

Starting with the name of Allah, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful... :)

It has been a while since I have been blogging. I used to actively write during my secondary school years, and a bit more after that during A levels. But later on with time constraints and writer's block, the blog that I used to own was slowly left abandoned and empty. I actually really missed writing. It is the medium where I usually can express myself best, and being pseudo-Dory as I am, it helps to keep all the precious memories and experiences that I have gathered.

So 5 years later, inshaAllah here goes another start to blogging! This inspiration comes as I have now been blessed with being 5-months pregnant to this wonderful little khalifah in my womb, Subhanallah , Walhamdulillah :) So much things have been encountered so far of this journey, as well as countless valuable knowledge and advices being given. Hence the need for a journal to keep all these in, inshaAllah; about the wonders of my personal pregnancy journey; knowledge, advices and tips on maternal health, fetal development, advices on raising children, children's education and much more, biiznillah...

May Allah bless these baby steps towards Mardhatillah. Ameen.